I woke up a lone this morning the only sound being the low rumble of my train idling waiting for its new crew. Yesterday i didnt talk to anyone, no one talked to me. I didnt hear my own voice one time. Today i am geared and ready to leave. Im one beer in. Still tired and still shaking the feeling of a long night prior. My scanners quiet. Lots of things dint make sense anymore, where am i going but away. A lot of people want me to slow down. Im two beers in. I cant slow down. I can see the crew van way up the tracks approaching slowly and its about time i get myself gathered and get on out. People dont realize the weight that comes with freedom. All of my friends are doing things with their lives but ive seen the whole country and it still makes no sense, im three beers in. Why should it matter if it makes sense fuck what they think this is my life. Theres a hot Q train just feet from where im sitting ready to blast up the seaboard with or without me. Its not about winning or losing its about leaving. Its about getting away from it. I dont even know what it is anymore! Fuck! Im four beers in. I found a grainer thats fairly dry the storms the past few days have been more than i can handle. Im pissed but i know this train will take me north onto better places and better faces. This is what i do, i gave up everything to do just this. Was it worth it? Im not sure sometimes. But its me. Its who i grew into and now its what i know and what i know is what defines me...i think. Im five beers in. Im on the train and we are airing up to leave yet another town behind. I watch it slowly disappear never to be seen again...until im ready to come back. The train picked up speed quickly, within minutes im flying through towns and grade crossings and i no longer worry. The drift kicks in. Six beers in. I think things will be fine for me. Im pretty hungry, i dont have any money left but i guess im just not concerned with that right now. I dont have to think anymore all i have to do is just sit here and watch. Watch towns pass, watch people go about there lives and the best part is. No one even knows im here. I have one more beer and a long ride ahead. The warm winds in the day will eventually turn into a cool breeze that alleviates my pressure. This road isnt for all but it sure as hell is for me and as i pop this last drink i l know i didnt fuck up. I know i did what i did for a reason and now thousands of miles later its come full circle and i can be who i want and i can go where i want. You wont see me but a moment and ill be gone again. But ill be back. We always come back. I got about 215 miles to go and im gonna pass out and wake up somewhere else. Somewhere new and somewhere that will also be left behind. Nothing is forever and it never lasts anyways so keep your pace. This is the railroad and the railroad has no feelings for you. Get on or get left behind.
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